1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,320
0758, recording date 11871, take 1.

2
00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:04,860
Which way are you at?

3
00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:06,900
No, I've got a couple of minutes to go,
mate.

4
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,080
Here, look at Planky.

5
00:01:12,580 --> 00:01:13,600
What's he doing back here?

6
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:14,800
I don't know.

7
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,080
Here.

8
00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,100
I thought you was going away for the
weekend.

9
00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:19,420
I am.

10
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,260
I've just come in to check on you two,
mate.

11
00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:23,560
I'm going off to Brighton for three
days.

12
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,300
We're catching the 2 .30.

13
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,580
We? Oh, blimey, he's going on a dirty
weekend.

14
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,420
Congratulations, mate. You made it at
last.

15
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:33,780
Hey, is it one of the clippers?

16
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,080
How dare you?

17
00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:36,800
I'm taking me old mother.

18
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,100
Your mother? What, the Brighton?

19
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,000
Booking two single rooms.

20
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,560
Yeah, we've all done that, mate. I
always book two single rooms and say

21
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,680
sister. Yeah, yeah. You'll never get
away with it pretending it's your

22
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,880
Oh, I don't know, though, Jack. I mean,
any bird that'll go away with him must

23
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:55,880
look like his mother.

24
00:01:58,020 --> 00:01:59,280
Letters lay about you.

25
00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:01,560
Is that all you can think about?

26
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,620
Yeah. Oh, blimey.

27
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,180
I'm taking me old mum for the rest and
then I'm going to get a bit of fishing

28
00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:09,500
in. Fishing? Oh, blimey, what a drag.

29
00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:11,180
You wouldn't appreciate the...

30
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:12,560
Pleasures of it, man.

31
00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:14,880
What do you know about the thrill of
having a bite?

32
00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:16,360
What are you talking about?

33
00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:20,640
I took Randy Reiter out last night. Look
what she did to me, mate.

34
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:26,140
I'm wasting my time talking to you, so I
take my fishing seriously. I do. I've

35
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:28,240
won prizes for it. Go on, I'll bet.

36
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:29,840
I have, you know. Here.

37
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,200
Here, hold that a minute.

38
00:02:31,940 --> 00:02:32,940
What's this here?

39
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,040
That's me worms.

40
00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,660
I dug them up special, I did. It took me
two days to do that. Yeah.

41
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,660
That's the secret of it, mate. Here,
look at that. That's me at Folkestone

42
00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:43,660
holding the cat. See that?

43
00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:46,140
God blimey, Jack, he's caught a kipper.

44
00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:48,700
Kipper, that's a soul.

45
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,460
Eh? A soul.

46
00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:53,120
How can it be a soul? It's all yellow.

47
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:55,900
That's because it's faded. He's been in
me wallet for three years.

48
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,240
Oh, hold on a minute.

49
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,220
Hello, Inspector Blake here.

50
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,860
Oh. Oh, hello, Mum.

51
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,220
Yes, dear.

52
00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:09,350
Oh, no.

53
00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:11,550
Oh. Oh, no.

54
00:03:12,690 --> 00:03:13,970
Have you tried anyone else?

55
00:03:15,330 --> 00:03:16,330
Oh, God.

56
00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:18,450
Oh, never mind, Mum. Oh, it can't be.
Oh, no.

57
00:03:18,930 --> 00:03:19,930
Oh, bear up, dear.

58
00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:21,950
Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

59
00:03:25,850 --> 00:03:26,850
What's up?

60
00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:29,650
There's a neighbour been taken ill. Now
we can't go. Why not?

61
00:03:29,970 --> 00:03:33,230
Well, she was going to look after me
mum's little dog, you see. Well, she

62
00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:34,230
leave it, can she?

63
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:38,470
They won't have it in the guest house,
and she's tied all over it. Oh, God, I

64
00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:39,388
don't know.

65
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,390
Oh, well.

66
00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:42,230
Now I suppose I'll have to stay on duty.

67
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:46,630
Well, get that buff out, then! Come on!

68
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:49,110
Don't shout at us. It's not our fault.

69
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:51,290
Oh, look at that.

70
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:55,610
I dug them up special, I did. Took me
three days, didn't it? Oh, I don't know.

71
00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:56,589
Wasted, now.

72
00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:59,070
What are you talking about, wasted? All
you've got to do is dig some more little

73
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,330
holes and put them all back in again.

74
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:01,769
Get up!

75
00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:02,770
Get up!

76
00:04:40,039 --> 00:04:41,720
Blimey. That's worse than I thought it
is.

77
00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:44,840
You stupid idiot. Why didn't you stop
when it happened?

78
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,900
What, and get the number taken? He must
be an idiot.

79
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:50,720
God, blimey, that's the fifth time
you've hit that bollard. He's a bus,

80
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:51,760
not a dodgem car.

81
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,040
It's all right for you, mate. You can't
drive it, do you? It's very tight round

82
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,200
that island. Oh, don't give me that. You
was looking at that bird with the see

83
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,199
-through bra.

84
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,240
Oh, so I was.

85
00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:04,640
All right, well, I hope you had a good
look, cos now you've got a bus with a

86
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:05,539
-through side.

87
00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:06,560
How felt, huh?

88
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:07,920
Hello.

89
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,560
What have you been doing? Stock car
racing?

90
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:10,920
Blimey, don't you start.

91
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,660
Is that blasted bollard in the high
street again? Oh, not that one again.

92
00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:18,320
proper menace, that is. Listen, you wait
till Blakey sees that. He'll go mad.

93
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,540
You're telling me, aren't you? And he's
lost his weekend.

94
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:21,980
I'll probably get suspended.

95
00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:23,480
Suspended, mate? You'll get sacked.

96
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:24,659
Will I?

97
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:25,820
It's a pity he didn't go.

98
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,820
You know, I'm in charge when he goes
off.

99
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:34,200
Well, now, if he had, I could have been
looking the other way whilst the boys in

100
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,740
maintenance fixed that up for you.

101
00:05:36,229 --> 00:05:37,950
Blakey need never an hour.

102
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:41,410
Would you do that? Of course I would.
You'd square it for us, hadn't you?

103
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:44,770
Right, simple. All you've got to do is
go to Blakey, say you'll look after his

104
00:05:44,770 --> 00:05:47,850
little dog, he'll go away on holiday,
and Addie can square the bus.

105
00:05:48,070 --> 00:05:49,810
Right. What a smashing idea.

106
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,650
Now, wait a minute. He's saying go to 2
.30.

107
00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:54,270
It's not quite 12 yet.

108
00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:57,470
It's worth a try, isn't it? He's in his
office. Yeah, come on, ship this note.

109
00:05:57,530 --> 00:06:00,090
Right, OK. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.
Hurry up.

110
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:01,570
OK.

111
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,500
Come in.

112
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,400
Oh, er, hello, Blakey.

113
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,800
Oh, future. Just wondering, er, have you
found anybody to look after your little

114
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,240
dog? Nah, of course not.

115
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:18,480
Oh, haven't you? Right, er, I'll tell
you what, I'll, er, I'll look after it

116
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,480
you.

117
00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:20,820
You?

118
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,440
Yeah, well, you know, me and Jack, we're
always, er, you deserve a break, right,

119
00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:25,740
Jack? Oh, yes, you do, yes, yeah.

120
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,980
You look after my mum's little dog?

121
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:30,800
Where's the catch?

122
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,100
LAUGHTER

123
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,980
No, there's no catches there, Jack.
Honestly, believe me, Blakey, I'll look

124
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:36,980
after it for you.

125
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:38,980
I don't know what to say.

126
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,620
Tell you the truth, I don't know why I
didn't think of it before.

127
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:43,539
I do.

128
00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:44,540
Shut up.

129
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:47,990
I'm quite overcome.

130
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:52,070
Yeah. Well, uh, Blackie, you haven't got
much time, you know. Got to catch that

131
00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:54,450
train. You've got to take that little
dog around the stands.

132
00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:57,190
I'll tell you what, now.

133
00:06:57,770 --> 00:06:59,210
I'll be off duty by then, you see.

134
00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:02,130
And so you can bring your dog straight
round to me as you're on your way to the

135
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,150
station. Oh, hang about.

136
00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:06,890
I'll hand the movements over to Harry,
and I'll come and check your bus. That's

137
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:07,890
the idea, yeah.

138
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:09,070
No! No!

139
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:13,130
No, don't worry about the bus. No,
we'll, uh, we'll see the bus.

140
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,970
Yeah, that's it. Otherwise, you're going
to miss your train, see? I'm going to

141
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,250
miss my train back. There you go.

142
00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:19,610
Isn't it marvellous, eh?

143
00:07:20,430 --> 00:07:23,210
After all these years, to receive a bit
of kindness.

144
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,530
Yeah.

145
00:07:24,670 --> 00:07:28,230
I always say, it's always there if
you're scratched deep enough.

146
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:30,750
Yeah, well, in his case, he's a bit
deeper than a scratch.

147
00:07:32,290 --> 00:07:35,610
Get off, bring your little dog around to
me and don't worry, right? Yeah, yeah.

148
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:38,510
I don't know how to thank you for this,
but, you know...

149
00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:41,610
My old mum will be quite overcome, will
I tell her? Yeah, I bet she will. Get on

150
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:42,850
with your old mum, then. There you go.

151
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,990
Have a nice time, Blake. Thank you,
boys.

152
00:07:49,150 --> 00:07:50,490
Hang a bat.

153
00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:52,310
Hang a bat.

154
00:07:53,730 --> 00:07:54,730
What, what?

155
00:07:57,350 --> 00:07:59,950
In the excitement, I forgot me worms.

156
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:03,970
I'll miss without your worms, mate, can
you?

157
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:06,809
No,

158
00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:08,700
no! No, no, go round the back way.

159
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:16,160
I still don't see why I should have my
weekend ruined by some

160
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,960
snivelling dog just because you drive
your bus into a bollard.

161
00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:21,320
Oh, why don't you dry up?

162
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:23,440
You're a menace on the road, mate.

163
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:24,660
Oh, no, he's not.

164
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,040
It was only a little accident.

165
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:27,520
What are you talking about?

166
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,160
That might have been me standing there
instead of the bollard.

167
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,220
I wish it had have been you. I wouldn't
have had such a big dent in the side of

168
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,220
me bus.

169
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,220
What time's the inspector? to bringing
the dog round?

170
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,100
Well, any minute now. He's on his way to
the station.

171
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,220
Oh, here. He's bound to come in.

172
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:45,080
Look at the state of the place. Oh, come
on, Olive. You're supposed to be

173
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,600
helping me put away these dirties.

174
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,520
She's still putting away her lunch.

175
00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:54,680
Right, nearly two o 'clock. Time for me
football.

176
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:02,200
That's him. That's Blakey. That's him.
That's him. That's him. Yeah, right. Oh,

177
00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:03,780
wait a minute. Here.

178
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,400
Well, put your shoes on again.

179
00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:09,690
What are you talking about? I'm watching
the football. I'm playing it. Yes.

180
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,790
He looks so slovenly.

181
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:17,070
I'm going to turn this thing off. What
do you think you're doing? Will is so

182
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:18,570
rude when people come calling.

183
00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:21,960
Look, I'm a little... tired of this
Inspector and his stinking dog already.

184
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:24,500
Inspector Blake is here.

185
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:26,660
Hello, Inspector.

186
00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:31,760
We were just saying, how nice it would
be to look after your little dog. Well,

187
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,300
it was very nice of you to offer, Mrs
Butler, I must say.

188
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:38,440
Now, Butler, you will take care of my
little Mitzi, won't you? Oh, don't worry

189
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,820
about that, Inspector. We'll look after
her for you because, especially our

190
00:09:41,820 --> 00:09:44,400
Olive. She loves little doggies, don't
you, Olive? Look at that.

191
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:47,380
I'll tell you what.

192
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,480
I'll take it for walks.

193
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:49,960
Butler, Butler.

194
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,760
Now, that's a very valuable pedigree
dog.

195
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:53,879
Yeah, yeah.

196
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:59,160
We're hoping to breed puppies off it,
you see. If you do take it out, you've

197
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:03,800
to be very careful, you know. You must
take it on a leash, you see, because

198
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,220
a gold dog, you see. Oh, yeah, yeah.

199
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:07,740
You don't want any, you know.

200
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,740
What you mean is you don't want it
carrying on like one of our clippers.

201
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:13,820
Sam!

202
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:18,670
I wouldn't have exactly said that
myself, Mrs Butler, but that's, you've

203
00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:19,670
point. Hello?

204
00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:23,470
Come in here, will you? Yes, it's my
driver, taxi driver.

205
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:24,770
Come in here, please.

206
00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:28,730
Where do I put this thing? Put it on the
table, please. Just a minute, just a

207
00:10:28,730 --> 00:10:29,730
minute.

208
00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:31,429
What's this then?

209
00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:32,430
It's me aquarium.

210
00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,770
Aquarium? Yeah, me mum's tropical fish.

211
00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:37,310
What?

212
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:41,880
Yeah. You see, I knew you wouldn't mind
having a Mrs Butler as you was having

213
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,480
the dog as well, like, you know, and,
you know, it's all right, isn't it?

214
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,360
Because me mum worries so much, you see.

215
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:52,340
I should shut the door, mate, in case he
brings in his mother's pet monkey.

216
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,300
You're too late, mate. He's already
here.

217
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,260
Right, if you're all excused, may I
switch on the football?

218
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:03,260
Now, look, Buckley, about these fish,
look, they've got to be kept at a

219
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:05,700
temperature. You do understand that,
don't you? That's why I put the blanket

220
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,240
round them and wrap them up and keep
them warm, you see.

221
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,780
If the power should go off at all while
they were alone in the house, they could

222
00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:11,780
all die, you understand?

223
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:13,480
They're lovely.

224
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,300
Yes, and they're very valuable, Mrs
Buckley. They're priceless.

225
00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:17,459
Oh, I know.

226
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,880
I mean, the price... Massifish today's
disgust.

227
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,160
Can we plug it in right away? Of course.

228
00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:27,340
I'll put it in this plug over here, you
see.

229
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,840
Get out of the way.

230
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:32,340
Kitchener.

231
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:36,000
What do you think you're doing?

232
00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:37,220
Shut up, shut up, shut up.

233
00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:40,950
You'd better hurry up if you want to
catch that train, Gardner. All right,

234
00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:44,610
thanks very much. Hey, listen, Butler,
I've left a list of instructions here

235
00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:45,610
just in case, understand?

236
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:49,030
Look, here's the food and the tablets in
here. Now, be very careful, won't you?

237
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,130
Thank you, Brady. Oh,

238
00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:54,030
thank you very much, Butler. I don't
know how to tell you this, but, you

239
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:55,430
It's marvellous for me, you know.

240
00:11:55,930 --> 00:11:59,490
I'll be there on the end of that pier,
there, hour after hour after hour, not a

241
00:11:59,490 --> 00:12:00,570
single bus in sight.

242
00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:04,070
No need to go that far. Just take at one
of your requests, stop on the high

243
00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:05,070
street, mate.

244
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:08,630
I shall be off then. Bye -bye. Have a
lovely weekend.

245
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:11,210
Right, I'm going to plug that television
in now. Don't you dare!

246
00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:12,489
What are you talking about?

247
00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:16,530
If the heat goes off and those fishes
die, my life won't be worth living.

248
00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:19,770
Look, mate, there's one socket in this
room. I want to watch my football. What?

249
00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:22,630
It's old luck, mate, isn't it? You can't
watch the football.

250
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,150
You can't watch the fishes instead.

251
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:26,190
Yes. Ah, look.

252
00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:29,230
Oh, Arthur, it's great, really. I'm not
joking.

253
00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:30,970
This is better than watching football.

254
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,790
Here's some here. They've got pyjamas
on.

255
00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:38,690
Now, come and have a look, Arthur. I do
not wish to come and have a look.

256
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:41,450
Oh, be quiet. You've got the dog there.

257
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:45,090
Oh, charming. This is going to be a
marvellous weekend, isn't it?

258
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:33,420
get the classified results and he's been
gone three hours.

259
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,700
If I know him, he's down the boozer.

260
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,160
Where's the dog?

261
00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:39,540
He's out with Arthur.

262
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,620
Don't tell me he's roaming the streets.

263
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,920
Oh, no, love, it's all right.

264
00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,420
She's on a lead.

265
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,600
Well, if anything happens to him, I'll
kill Arthur.

266
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:55,880
By the way, what's wrong with the fish?
What's wrong with the fish? Nothing,

267
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,320
nothing. Only the inspiration...

268
00:13:57,930 --> 00:14:00,370
and say we should put one of these
tablets in when necessary.

269
00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:01,650
Do you think we should?

270
00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:02,769
Let's have a look.

271
00:14:02,770 --> 00:14:06,870
To clear the fish's water of impurities
and keep it crystal clear, place one

272
00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:09,170
tablet in it every other day. Let's have
a look.

273
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:12,630
Yeah, it's a bit murky, isn't it? Yeah.
All right, Ollie, put one in there.

274
00:14:13,070 --> 00:14:15,070
And there's Arthur.

275
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:18,870
Hello?

276
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,630
My goodness, what a terrible night.

277
00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:26,490
We both got very wet, didn't we, my
dear?

278
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:29,530
I hope it's something worth taking off a
bun.

279
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:31,170
Yeah, I'm feeling a bit dilly.

280
00:14:31,390 --> 00:14:32,550
Not you, the dog.

281
00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:35,570
We're not the dog to get pneumonia, do
we?

282
00:14:35,810 --> 00:14:40,010
Oh, just a matter about me, then. No.
I'll do it.

283
00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:43,370
Oh, thank you, sunshine. Take a little
doggy.

284
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:44,870
Here, kiss, kiss.

285
00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:46,550
Oh.

286
00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:50,770
Oh, blimey, he has been drinking.

287
00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:53,150
Oh, yes.

288
00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:55,230
I have had one half pint.

289
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:58,930
Pint? You can't make half a pint last
three hours.

290
00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:00,850
He can when it's his round to come
round.

291
00:15:02,810 --> 00:15:06,610
As there was no television available in
this house, I've been down to the Red

292
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:08,130
Lion to watch it. Oh, have you?

293
00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:09,970
Wait a minute.

294
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,310
The Red Lion?

295
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:16,410
They don't allow dogs in the Red Lion.
He was quite safe. He's been in the

296
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:17,550
haven't you, darling? What?

297
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:21,490
He was very happy. He was playing with
the pub dog.

298
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:29,880
It's sex mad, mate.

299
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,320
It's had more buckets of cold water
chucked over it than you've had hot

300
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:36,980
Well, never mind.

301
00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:41,420
Little Mitzi didn't seem very worried.
She looks very content, don't you?

302
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,660
That's what I'm worried about.

303
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:43,899
What's wrong?

304
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:46,220
What do you mean, what's wrong? What
about in a couple of months' time when

305
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:50,660
Mitzi here presents Blakey with a litter
of black and white duck sounds?

306
00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:52,460
So what?

307
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:56,140
It's a pedigree dog. It's supposed to
have pedigree pups, not a lot of spotted

308
00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:57,140
dicks.

309
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,060
Of course, if I know that dog.

310
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,960
Oh, and I was worried in case she caught
a cow.

311
00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:10,280
I won't be letting her carry on like
that.

312
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,660
Thanks to you, I'll be worried for the
next few months.

313
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,600
Well, now you know how them clippy's
mothers feel when you take them out.

314
00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:18,940
Everybody!

315
00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:20,700
Ah! Oh,

316
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,580
lovey, I'm all shivery.

317
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,480
Come on, love, I'll get you dinner for
you.

318
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:25,720
Ah!

319
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,020
Oh, love, you'd better have an aspirin.

320
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,980
Thank you, my darling. I'll go and get a
glass of water.

321
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:45,350
The poor little Mitzi. She's all cold
and wet.

322
00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:49,650
Don't you worry about your poor little
Mitzi. You worry about your poor little

323
00:16:49,650 --> 00:16:50,650
lovey.

324
00:16:58,990 --> 00:17:01,870
I took the one you very kindly left out
on the plate, sunshine.

325
00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,010
Pardon? Hi.

326
00:17:16,329 --> 00:17:19,650
You've taken a tablet that should have
been meant for the fishies more.

327
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:34,210
Look, it's not don't harm the fish. It's
not likely to harm you, is it? What's

328
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:36,690
going to happen to me? Stop worrying,
Arthur. Don't worry.

329
00:17:36,910 --> 00:17:39,330
Look, we've got plenty of tablets here
for the fishes.

330
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:41,910
I'm not worried about the fishes. I'm
worried about me.

331
00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:45,150
Dear love, it may be poisonous to
humans.

332
00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:47,470
It's not. It says here it's not
poisonous to humans.

333
00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:49,350
Mind you, I don't know if that includes
him.

334
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:54,550
Look, will you shut up? This isn't
funny. Oh, don't carry on, mate.

335
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,140
happened to need my water purified.

336
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:07,720
Well, I've luck. It's a pity you didn't
keep that dog pure. Oh, well, come on,

337
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,040
love. Eat up your supper and that'll
split your stomach. Oh, Johnny will hope

338
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,040
so.

339
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:16,060
As you've taken that tablet, Olive,
you'd better put another one in the

340
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:17,800
water then. Oh, all right. And mind that
wire.

341
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,040
What wire?

342
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,420
You stupid great dick!

343
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,920
Well, you pulled the wire out. That's
the one that keeps the water off the

344
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,840
fish's... Oh, won't it? Won't it? I've
got to get... Look at it!

345
00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:31,810
I'll have to get this thing out so I can
plug it back in again.

346
00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:34,370
I can't, it's rusted, it's rusted.

347
00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:36,030
Give us that knife, give us that knife,
give us that knife.

348
00:18:41,610 --> 00:18:42,610
Blimey.

349
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:44,070
What's the matter there? I've cracked
the glass.

350
00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:47,790
What are you talking about? I can't see
any crack. No, it's cracked here. I

351
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:49,550
mean, when it fits into the metal there,
you idiot.

352
00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:51,610
Oh, the water's coming out, look.

353
00:18:52,810 --> 00:18:54,910
Oh, the water, the water, the fish's
water.

354
00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:56,390
Come on, now.

355
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,310
Get out of here, get out of here. Here
you are.

356
00:18:58,610 --> 00:19:01,970
Now then, I'll put the... Get along, get
some warm water. Keep it at the right

357
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:03,490
temperature. Yeah, you're all right.

358
00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:06,890
God, blimey, I can't get them out with a
spoon. They keep slipping off.

359
00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:10,130
Here, I'll tell you what. Try spearing
them with me fork.

360
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:14,170
By the care, by the care. Here,

361
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:20,670
I shouldn't let Olive do that, you know.
She likes sardines. She'll probably eat

362
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:21,670
one of them.

363
00:19:22,170 --> 00:19:23,590
I've got the chip pan here.

364
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:24,890
I'll try and get them out with this.

365
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:26,610
Here we are.

366
00:19:28,770 --> 00:19:30,250
I've got some here, that's it. Mum?

367
00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:33,650
Oh,

368
00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:35,010
I've got a lovely load here.

369
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:36,930
Here, here, here, stay, stay.

370
00:19:37,650 --> 00:19:40,050
Leave them in there, get Mum to fry them
up for your supper.

371
00:19:40,790 --> 00:19:43,390
Your sense of humour is rapidly losing
its magic from me, mate.

372
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:46,430
Here's another one, hold it there. I've
got a lot there, see if you can get some

373
00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:50,010
out, Ollie. Here you are, love. Look,
here, the water's warm now, this will

374
00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:52,130
them at the right temperature. Ah,
that's the idea, that's the idea.

375
00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:54,270
I've got one, I've got one! Quick,
Ollie, stop!

376
00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:08,590
and water it and die.

377
00:20:08,850 --> 00:20:10,630
Yeah, well, I'll make sure it gets
something.

378
00:20:10,930 --> 00:20:11,930
Careful, careful.

379
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:17,230
Isn't that marvellous?

380
00:20:17,530 --> 00:20:21,290
One thing after another, now you've
ruined my supper. Oh, stop moaning. The

381
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:22,290
is all right, anyway.

382
00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:25,670
Oh, yeah, all right. Never mind, mate.
I'm sorry about that. Here, I'll have

383
00:20:25,670 --> 00:20:26,670
some of your dinner back.

384
00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:29,810
I'm going to get the rest of the fish.
Come out of it.

385
00:20:31,070 --> 00:20:32,070
All right.

386
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,410
Here, you little darlings. Come on, here
we go.

387
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:42,900
Now, Jack, they've done it.

388
00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:47,080
Hey, they've just finished fixing the
bus I bashed, and now I do this.

389
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,260
Yeah, well, you're just about in time.
It's gone now, and Blakey will be back

390
00:20:50,260 --> 00:20:50,799
any minute.

391
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,960
Yeah, certainly. Anyway, I'll tell you
what, they made a good job in the

392
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,680
maintenance of this. Yeah. They won't
break down in a hurry.

393
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:57,100
Why not? Let her carve up one of our
wood screens to do it.

394
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:01,160
Blimey, mate, they'll never get away
with that. Yeah, they're going to blame

395
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,920
on the hooligans on a Saturday night.
Oh, how crafty. Here, have you got the

396
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,340
warm water? Yeah, here we are. Get it
down with it. Tick that in.

397
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:07,960
Lovely.

398
00:21:08,860 --> 00:21:09,860
That's a good job.

399
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:11,719
There we go.

400
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:12,659
Got the fish?

401
00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:13,519
Yeah, what with it?

402
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:14,520
Get all that in there.

403
00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:15,600
Go on, I'll put it in there.

404
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,720
What's up with me, mate? Oh, they're
lovely and cozy in here.

405
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,840
Lovely and warm. There we are.

406
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:25,080
Oh, lovely.

407
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,100
Yes, lovely.

408
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,880
No, not that one, you boot. That's me
cocoa.

409
00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:32,960
Oh, look at that. Yeah, smashing.

410
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:34,059
Look at that.

411
00:21:34,060 --> 00:21:36,340
Yeah, look at that. Oh, lovely.

412
00:21:36,980 --> 00:21:40,980
Heads up. Here comes a complete angler.
Oh, hello, Blakey. Did you have a nice

413
00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:44,380
weekend? Oh, lovely very much, thanks.
Except for you didn't have to bring me

414
00:21:44,380 --> 00:21:46,580
tanking and butter. I could have called
round the collector, you know.

415
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:49,060
Oh, it's all right. We didn't want to
put you to the trouble, see.

416
00:21:49,260 --> 00:21:51,300
Oh, they look nice and frisky, don't
they, eh? Yeah.

417
00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:52,660
Here.

418
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,780
You've changed the water and all, look.
Oh, you didn't have to do all that, boy.

419
00:21:57,140 --> 00:22:00,080
Ah, it's no trouble, you know. We like
to do things properly.

420
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,520
You've cleaned the glass and all, look.

421
00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:04,080
It looks brand new.

422
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:08,680
You didn't have to go to all that
trouble, you know. Well, it's no

423
00:22:09,380 --> 00:22:10,500
Isn't it amazing, eh?

424
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,080
We never really know anyone, do we?

425
00:22:14,060 --> 00:22:15,960
I had you all wrong, you know, that
butler.

426
00:22:17,219 --> 00:22:18,580
Yeah. Oh, I forgot.

427
00:22:19,180 --> 00:22:24,880
Hey, darling. Oh. Your little mixing.
Mixing. Ah, there she is. Oh, look. Oh,

428
00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:26,180
lovely little girl.

429
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:28,680
Oh, you look well, don't you? You've had
a good time, have you?

430
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:29,960
Yeah, here.

431
00:22:30,660 --> 00:22:35,780
I hope she didn't make any mistakes in
your house, Ed. No, no, not in the

432
00:22:37,860 --> 00:22:39,060
I'll tell you what, though, Butler.

433
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,440
You've been overfeeding her a bit,
haven't you, eh?

434
00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:43,360
Her tummy's fatter.

435
00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:46,960
A couple of months' time she'll be a lot
fatter.

436
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:52,040
I can't tell you how grateful I am for
this, Butler, you know that? Oh.

437
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,340
I've brought something back for you.

438
00:22:53,620 --> 00:22:56,860
Oh, thanks, Blakey. Yes, I had a little
nibble while I was at Brighton.

439
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:03,020
And I've brought the best one for you.
Oh, lovely. Thanks very much.

440
00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:06,260
Well, it's...

441
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,860
I know it's small, but you'll find it
very tasty.

442
00:23:09,060 --> 00:23:10,540
Yes, thank you, yes. Yes.

443
00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:13,440
I'm afraid it wasn't a very good weekend
for fish.

444
00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:15,820
I appreciate how you feel.

445
00:23:16,780 --> 00:23:19,440
Yeah, well, come on, mate, let's have a
cuppa. Yeah, it's all right then. Well,

446
00:23:19,540 --> 00:23:23,040
thanks again, Blagie, and I'll look
after you pets another time.

447
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,760
Oh, yeah, when will that be? Next time
I'll bash the bollard in your ice drink.